It's over
Sigh. After a long (well, not so long) deliberation, I've decided that I'm going to finally ring the death-knell of my three blogs: this one, BoyInCorner (the poetry/writing/art one), and I'll Steal Your Soul, or whatever the fuck I called that one about photography.
Most of my friends' links on the side are either shut down themselves, and some of my personal links I've moved on from.
It's been a pretty good run, at least for most of college. I know I was posting at least 2-3 times a week back in the day (like a year ago), but not so much now. I sometimes ponder the reason I don't blog anymore.
Sun's theory is that people only blog when they're sad. I don't think that's necessarily true, but I feel like most of us casual bloggers (those who don't have scores of strangers reading their stuff daily) are like that. Not to say that I was sad, but I think deep down I was a bit unhappy.
I look back on Cal as an entirely different chapter in my life. Even from Freshman year, I think that I was unhappy with at least some parts of my life, and I used alcohol a lot to comfort the pain. Or staying really fucking busy. Not that I didn't crack here and there, but I was lucky enough to have an awesome Family of friends who were always supportive of me. I just remember the strangeness of my reaction to hearing my parents were finalizing their divorce: I got off the phone, couldn't cry, and decided that I should go drink, cuz that's what crazy depressed poets do (at least they did in my head), but decided not to because I had too much homework. So I waited until later that week to get really fucking smashed. I mean, what the fuck?
I feel like a recluse sometimes. I haven't talked to some people in a long time, who I should do a better job of keeping in touch with. I've made things awkward with old friends due to my politics. I sometimes still agonize over some of the fucked up ways I treated some people yet don't have the guts to apologize.
Sigh. I don't think this post is anywhere near as coherent as I'd like a final post to be, but part of it is that I didn't really think this out, and another part is that I'm sick and my brain is a bit overheated. Fucking fever.
Anyway, I will be starting up a new blog, when I get around to building my own personal site (although I've been saying this for like a year now, so we'll see if it happens) for my art stuff, so you'll be able to find me there. So it's not like I'm completely disappearing from the web. I mean, I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist, so it's not like I'm going to vanish from the face of the earth.
But thank you to everyone who still reads this. I think it's like maybe 4 people, but if there are more, thanks for a great run. I guess doing the fiery rebirth thing is more of Eve's deal (ya know, cuz she's a phoenix), but I'm a bit tired of this blog that reminds me of my exceptional hubris and I need to start from scratch.
But thank you everyone, past and present, who have read this, and made it seem like my words actually had some weight out there in the real world. And if you're interested in helping me with an art project, email me your address, and as soon as I get a PO Box you'll be getting something in the mail.
Goodnight/bye.
Most of my friends' links on the side are either shut down themselves, and some of my personal links I've moved on from.
It's been a pretty good run, at least for most of college. I know I was posting at least 2-3 times a week back in the day (like a year ago), but not so much now. I sometimes ponder the reason I don't blog anymore.
Sun's theory is that people only blog when they're sad. I don't think that's necessarily true, but I feel like most of us casual bloggers (those who don't have scores of strangers reading their stuff daily) are like that. Not to say that I was sad, but I think deep down I was a bit unhappy.
I look back on Cal as an entirely different chapter in my life. Even from Freshman year, I think that I was unhappy with at least some parts of my life, and I used alcohol a lot to comfort the pain. Or staying really fucking busy. Not that I didn't crack here and there, but I was lucky enough to have an awesome Family of friends who were always supportive of me. I just remember the strangeness of my reaction to hearing my parents were finalizing their divorce: I got off the phone, couldn't cry, and decided that I should go drink, cuz that's what crazy depressed poets do (at least they did in my head), but decided not to because I had too much homework. So I waited until later that week to get really fucking smashed. I mean, what the fuck?
I feel like a recluse sometimes. I haven't talked to some people in a long time, who I should do a better job of keeping in touch with. I've made things awkward with old friends due to my politics. I sometimes still agonize over some of the fucked up ways I treated some people yet don't have the guts to apologize.
Sigh. I don't think this post is anywhere near as coherent as I'd like a final post to be, but part of it is that I didn't really think this out, and another part is that I'm sick and my brain is a bit overheated. Fucking fever.
Anyway, I will be starting up a new blog, when I get around to building my own personal site (although I've been saying this for like a year now, so we'll see if it happens) for my art stuff, so you'll be able to find me there. So it's not like I'm completely disappearing from the web. I mean, I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist, so it's not like I'm going to vanish from the face of the earth.
But thank you to everyone who still reads this. I think it's like maybe 4 people, but if there are more, thanks for a great run. I guess doing the fiery rebirth thing is more of Eve's deal (ya know, cuz she's a phoenix), but I'm a bit tired of this blog that reminds me of my exceptional hubris and I need to start from scratch.
But thank you everyone, past and present, who have read this, and made it seem like my words actually had some weight out there in the real world. And if you're interested in helping me with an art project, email me your address, and as soon as I get a PO Box you'll be getting something in the mail.
Goodnight/bye.
Labels: death knell, last post, thank you
posted by Ri.S.K. at 4:52 PM
1 Comments:
1) Because I've always been kind of a stalker, I do sort of keep up with your blog, and have for the past howevermany years.
2) For the record, some of us blog when we're hungry :)
3) Art project?? Sounds cool. I'll send you my address.
4) Sometimes, that 2 girls 1 cup video that Seichi sent me still scares me.
5) To new beginnings. Cheers!
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